I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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