He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
is that a dick in a sweater?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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