That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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