You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
