I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
