Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
