"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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