five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
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we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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