the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
