I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
This is not my ceiling
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
