You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
