I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
