Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Such a big mess for such a small penis
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
