I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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