I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
