he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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