me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
