I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
