My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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