When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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