i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
