Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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