Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
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I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
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Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?