Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.