Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I had to cum in my sink.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
