Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
