Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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