I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
