Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
