I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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