It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
The best revenge is premature balding
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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