I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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