Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
