i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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