we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
