whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
