bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
And then he peed in my hair
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