Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
