Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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