is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
that's an acceptable place to lick
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
