I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
