Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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