bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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