it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Found your dick twin last night
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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