u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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