You really coming over, don't trick.
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
