she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
where are my eyebrows?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
