so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
