my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
