i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
she peed on how many people?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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