Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
