That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
