i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
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She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
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yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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