Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
