No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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