I just cut my nipple shaving
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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