You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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