return my video game
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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