Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
