I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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