STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
