I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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