Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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