I look better un-naked...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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